Salutations, my curious congregation. I'm going to take a moment to talk about some personal stuff if you'll permit me an editorial entry. As I'm sure many of you have put together, Josh and I have a baby due in December, and I just want to talk about that a little bit since I've got him on the brain and don't have anything else pressing to talk about.
TWs: I'm going to talk about some pregnancy things, so if that bothers you or triggers dysphoria you're probably better off skipping this one. Other than that, those of you who are personally offended by the idea of the fact that Josh and I would have still used the name Rowan if he'd been a girl and that is exactly why we picked it, probably shouldn't read farther, this entry or any of the rest of the blog.
He's close. I use 'he' not because I expect him to be cis, but because everyone else is already going to. There's no changing the family doing it, and it's just a default. If he decides he wants to change it, that's totally fine, but he gets he/him until otherwise requested.
We've also decided that hair only gets cut on request. It's going to be long until he wants it short and I plan on giving him free reign over what he decides to wear. And yeah, that means I'm going to be one of those parents that lets my child run around in a cape if he wants--to be fair, I wear a cape and I'm a grown adult.
I know at least part of this is parental bias but I feel like he has some personality already. He doesn't start getting wiggly until around 1 in the morning usually, meaning he's likely to be a night owl like his Papa. He likes The Monster Mash and Voltaire--I've found he's partial to bouncy music like that and I have a whole playlist for him. He dances to it. He doesn't do that to other music.
He also gets very excited every time I'm in a boss fight. My mother tells me that's probably because he can hear my heartbeat, but Josh likes the idea that it's because he's a gamer on both sides of his bloodline.
And I'm excited enough about that, that most of the unpleasant parts of being pregnant haven't really bothered me too much. Did you know that there's this thing you get called "lightning crotch"? It's pretty much exactly what it sounds like it is.
Josh and I are both agreed that we don't want to raise him overly gendered. Like, boys have a lot of expectations put on them. Girls do too. Different ones, and ones that neither of us want Rowan to have to deal with. The first time a relative tries to tell him not to cry because he's a boy is the moment that relative gets their one and only warning and I'm not above keeping him away from people that are going to try to tell him having emotions is bad.
I am ridiculously prepared to froth at the mouth like you have no idea. We talk a lot about how important it's going to be to treat him like he's a person, even when he's little. Because kids are still people, they still deserve respect. And a lot of the things that our parents told us we'd understand when we were older and having kids of our own don't seem any more acceptable now than they did at the time.
It's probably normal to think about it a lot. He's our first and it's a life-changer, really. We just want to make sure he's as well equipped to handle the world as he can be.
Anyway, that's all I got for you today. I'll be back to things that are actually useful to you on Thursday.
Fortune Favors,
Robin the Red
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